(Note: This is an automated transcript, so their may be some formatting and grammatical errors)
Chad: I’m Chad Gravallese with ArrowLight TV and your host of the show, Connect Up. If you’re looking to gain traction in your career or business your at the right place because here we talk about connection. You need to know how to connect with the right people in the right way so you can build valuable relationships that lead you to career success. We have conversations about how to find your voice in your career. I interview communication experts, time and focus masters and everyday people who have stories to tell of challenges, overcome goals achieved, and how their inner and outer communication and ultimately their relationships accelerated their progress and elevated their journey. Success in life is just a collection of the right conversations with yourself and others. Connect up to a better version of yourself. Connect up to your goals and a brighter future. Disconnect from the things that are holding you back and connect your way to where you want to be.
Chad: In today’s episode, you will learn the importance of the beliefs you have behind the way you talk to yourself and how those limiting beliefs maybe interfering with your career success. I have the privilege of interviewing my good friend Matt Hill. He’s a board certified clinical hypnotherapist and the founder of one mind hypnotherapy, having facilitated over 1000 hypnotherapy sessions. Matt as well acquainted with how our subconscious belief systems create these patterns in our life that affect our progress, that affect our career and in his own life. He’s used hypnotherapy to heal from the death of his baby sister, a failed marriage and many other emotionally challenging experiences. He’s happily remarried now and it has a baby boy and I’m excited to learn from him about how to talk ourselves into change and into career success. And Matt, he’s right now. He’s building a team of hypnotherapists remotely to bring his healing process and peace of mind to people throughout the world.
Chad: Kind of similar to what I’m doing with Arrowlight trying to connect people from around the world remotely through our, our modern technology. And so I’m excited for what you’re going to learn today about finding your voice in your career about disconnecting from beliefs that are holding you back and about some tips on how to connect to people in a way that builds valuable trust based relationships. I’m also really excited about today’s interview because what we’re going to be discussing today has a lot to do with the communication happening inside our mind and how the communication in there is effecting the way we’re communicating with people on the outside, which is affecting our relationships and ultimately our results in our career and in our personal life. And Matt is an expert at the communication happening in here. All right. Welcome to the show Matt Hill.
Matt: Thank you Chad. I’m super excited to share a little bit of my business experience and how we communicate in our minds to ourselves and how that leads to external communication with others.
Chad: Great. I’m excited too. Matt is a friend of mine and we’ve seen each other’s careers shift and change and kind of go all over the place over the last few years. And it’s been kind of a fun journey. Um, as, as we’ve been both trying to grow businesses and in, in our, in our industries, crossover in certain ways, but they also are very different at the same time, but they do both, um, have to do with communication on an inner level and an outer level and Matt has always sent, said, set a really good example to me of what it looks like to go out of your own way to form new beneficial relationships. And he’s always been really good at forming relationships that has helped him grow his business, that has helped him grow his career. And so he’s always, I’ve always looked up to him in that way and I’m excited to, to pick his brain and figure out what he does to connect his way to his goals. Um, and so yeah, so I’m excited to welcome Matt to the show and I’m excited to kind of learn from his experience and wisdom and what he has to share with us. So Matt, tell us about your career as a hypnotherapist. How did you get into that? How did you get into, how did you get into it? What is it? And kind of what does it have to do with our communication?
Matt: Yeah. Okay. So I’ll start a little bit with my background. Yeah. Um, I studied psychology and have a bachelor’s degree in psychology. I chose that major, very intentionally because I love the mind and wanted to understand to a greater degree how our minds work and I didn’t really know and I was going through my psychology degree, some of the other options that were out there as far as, you know, like alternative mental health and things like that. Um, a lot of what I hoped I would find in psychology, it was, it was presented in hypnotherapy in a, just a much more concrete and assisting way. Um, in psychology I loved it, but I would search through just volume after volume of text and writing all these essays and everything and only changed my own life just a little bit. And that wasn’t good enough for me. So when I found hypnotherapy, it was much easier for me to apply the principles I was learning and to change my own life, my own internal dialogue, my in my communication with myself. And because of that, I was like, oh, this is what I want to do. And I, I, I saw the need for so many more people to learn what I was learning is in hypnotherapy.
Chad: Tell us a little bit about hypnotherapy and then how does it help us to disconnect from things that might be holding us back because one, one theme in this show is that we, in order to move forward towards our career goals, we need to connect to things and people that will move us forward and we need to disconnect from things. And sometimes people that will, that is holding us back. So what does, what does hypnotherapy half to do with that?
Matt: Yeah, great question. Um, so one thing that I’ll probably repeat a couple times a on today’s show in, in different aspects is the idea that it’s not so much the words that we’re using, but our belief in those words. So in, in talking about communication, especially in internal communication, um, maybe you’ve noticed this, but when people start finding out the importance of the words and the words that we use, they kind of turned into and forgive the term word Nazis. You know, like anytime they hear someone say anything that has negative in any sort of way, they want to go and correct it and say, no, you got to be positive. You got to do this. And I just kind of laugh and think it’s not as much the words but the belief behind the words. And so I, I feel that it’s still okay to sometimes tease and joke and have a good time.
Matt: But you know, yeah, you always got to be careful if you’re putting yourself down. But if you’re doing it in a fun way and you don’t believe it and feel it, then I don’t feel that is harmful. But then there’s other people that are seeing thinking yet on the internal dialogue. You always want to, you know, you want to have your words be like, I believe I can do this. And you know, like all the positive self talk, but even though the words are coming out like you believe underneath there isn’t and so that’s shallow or it’s hollow and it doesn’t have the depth that it needs and just because you’re using the right words doesn’t mean all of a sudden success is going to come because there’s not actually believed in the words that are being spoken.
Chad: That’s really powerful because it’s true that we. We all have our own definitions for the words that we use and those definitions have been built around our personal experience with that word. And like Matt was saying, we, we, we have a belief about what that word means to us and, and it’s that belief that gives that word either or makes that word either have a negative influence on us or have a positive influence. And so just saying these positive things all the time, it’s not going to necessarily change your situation or being a Nazi about the words and just switching into new words aren’t just going to change, isn’t going to change it. You’d have to change the belief behind those words. You have to change the definitions of those words and we can always choose to reframe our definitions whenever we want and I think it’s really cool how it, Matt’s doing with a hypnotherapy that he’s, he’s helping people to take a change the way that they see certain things that they’ve been stuck in for awhile.
Chad: We almost get into this trance in the way that we see things in life and in our habits and in the way that we communicate and the way that we go throughout our day. We’re just kind of walking along, doing the same things over and over again, repeating the same problems over and over again. And, and hypnotherapy is a form of internal communication that helps you to break those cycles. Um, and part of it has to do with the way you’re talking to yourself, but a lot of it is those beliefs behind how you’re talking to yourself. Um, and I think that’s really cool. So thanks for sharing that. I give a story on, on that.
Matt: Yup. So, um, as you’re well aware of chat, I love soccer. Soccer is really important. Then it’s just one of my passions, and this was a few years ago, I noticed I was, uh, driving to go play pickup games and I was just aware of my internal dialogue and I was referencing my arms as weak and girly and that’s problematic for a number of reasons. First of all, it’s not fair to the entire, you know, all the women out there who to be looked on that way. But then I also have my, my brothers, um, you know, maybe some of the things that he had called me when I was younger, some of the insults of things about how I was weak or girly or, you know, Ha wasn’t very strong in my arms. And so I committed to myself. Right. Then in that moment I was like, you know what?
Matt: I’m never going to say that about myself again. I’m never going to say that I have girly arms. I don’t like that. I’m not going to do that. In about two days later something happened and I was like, well, that’s okay. It’s just my micro, the arms. And I was like, ah, how come I’m still saying that I committed to myself that I’ve never seen again. I committed right. Then again and time after time I kept using that phrase, even though I committed that I wasn’t going to say it anymore, I still believed it. So the belief came up through my words. And so doing hypnotherapy, a, like a self hypnosis, I was able to change how I felt towards my arms and all of a sudden without having to try to monitor my words or sensor filter my words, my words were just automatically different because my belief was doing.
Chad: Thanks for sharing that. That’s a great story of that kind of illustrates that whole concept. Um, yeah. I, I too have kind of had a mat. Nice careers are a little similar in the fact that we both were, were chasing a certain career path with a lot of passion. Um, you know, he can tell you a little bit about kind of how he, he, he, he was going after a soccer career and now he’s a hypnotherapist. Um, and I was going after a filmmaking career where I wanted to just direct movies in Hollywood and now I’m building a personal development company where I’m still using video very heavily as kind of the central mode of how I’m teaching people, but I realized that I don’t want to just make movies that just entertain, I want to teach people and I want to inspire them when I want to use video in a way that can help people to communicate better and connect to their way to their goals and so forth.
Chad: Um, and, and so I want it. So, Matt, can you tell us a little bit about how you, how did you transition from chasing a soccer career to doing what you’re doing now and what, I guess what, what from what do you think about your soccer ambition, um, has now translated over into what you’re doing with hypnotherapy and kind of like where do you see, how do you see all that? How do you see the fact that you made that transition, um, and kind of why did you make that transition and how do you feel about that transition? Because a lot of what I’d like to talk about too is how we all about how to find your voice and your career and Matt has absolutely found his voice in his career, but he had to make a huge shift at one point. So tell us a little bit about that.
Matt: Yeah, a walk down memory lane for sure. I love it. I believe that people have callings and not that it’s only just like one thing that everybody needs to do, but that you have your natural gifts and things. So it was shortly after I finished my bachelor’s degree in psychology and all of a sudden I had been playing soccer in college and then when I finished I knew I didn’t want to get, you know, keep going with psychology and so I let my mind open up and decided what would I really like to do with my life? And I thought I would love to play soccer, but I didn’t really believe that it could happen. And I just kept telling myself if I really believed it, that I would, I would make it happen. And I would work for every single day so hard, but I didn’t know at the time how to change my beliefs as effectively as I do now.
Matt: So that’s what hypnotherapy was all about. And so there’s been this part of me that always wanted to know how to believe at a deeper level in hypnotherapy has kind of been that answer. And so I love watching other people go through struggles where they’re not necessarily wanting to play soccer, but they’re trying to do something new, something different, something they don’t believe they can do and now I know how to take belief inside of them and get them to believe it much more strongly. And it had at a deeper level. And so it’s almost like, I feel like through helping other people achieve their goals, it retroactively is going back in and you know, that’s what I feel like I might’ve needed at the time was more belief in myself.
Chad: That’s really great. So did you ever think that you would be so passionate about doing what you’re doing now? Something like this, when you were like, take yourself back to when you were pursuing your soccer career, did you ever imagine that you’d be passionate about doing this with him?
Matt: No, because I was so passionate about soccer in the moment that I was hypnotized, right home may see down that soccer path and yes, I’m, you know, I had already studied psychology and knew that I loved the mind, but in that moment I was allowing the passion for soccer takeover, so I don’t think that I could have seen how much I would have loved this.
Chad: That’s, that’s great because yeah, I uh, cause it because kind of similarly, I never imagined that I could possibly be passionate about one doing a show in interviewing people, no way. Like I just wanted to stay behind the camera directing actors and, and, and filming a movie and always staying behind the scenes and all of a sudden I’m in front of the camera a lot of the time making my own videos, teaching things new and a show now. And I never thought that I could ever be passionate about that until I started doing it. And it’s like sometimes we, we just start doing something because we feel like we need to maybe try this and then try that. And all of a sudden, going back to the belief thing, I realized that it wasn’t so much that I thought I wouldn’t enjoy it. It was that I didn’t believe I could do it.
Chad: I think sometimes we confuse having a, the thinking, oh, that would be boring role. I don’t think I’d enjoy that. That’s how we interpret it when really underneath it all, we just don’t believe we could possibly do that. Like for me, I never believed that I could possibly in front of the camera teaching people or, or doing a workshop or a class or, or interviewing people on having a show. Um, I never thought that I would enjoy doing that because I didn’t believe I possibly could. And now that now that I’m doing it, I’m gaining the belief that I can do it and all of a sudden them enjoying it a lot. I never thought in a million years I’d enjoy teaching a group of people something or training them on something. Um, but now I really enjoy it, uh, and, and so it’s funny how kind of I was very tunnel vision and my passion towards filmmaking that I just wanted to go into Hollywood and direct movies and I had this very black and white view of what that looked like.
Chad: And while I haven’t abandoned my, uh, my filmmaking passion and the same way you’re still passionate about soccer, you’re still having fun with it and everything, but you have a different career. Now my career is much more teaching oriented and training and mentoring people and teaching about communication and uh, and teaching about finding your voice and these different themes that I like teaching about now are what’s driving my whole career in filmmaking is now kind of a support to that. Opposed to like this tunnel vision of this is the whole thing. So I was as well and kind of a trance of light. This is how it has to be. I have to just make a movie and then go to film festivals and then somebody will want me to make the next star wars. And then before you know it, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll have that dream and everything’s been completely flipped upside down, um, but I’m enjoying doing things I never thought in a million years I’d enjoy.
Chad: And so that’s really cool that you as well kind of took a huge shift where you’re still passionate about soccer and you still love the sport, but you’re like, okay, that actually isn’t really supposed to be my career. I need to be doing this hypnotherapy thing. I need to be, need to be helping people disconnect from things that are holding them back. I need to help them change their beliefs inside of their head. Um, and that is that you’re at this place. Would you say that you’ve found your voice in her career at this point? I mean, it’s an ongoing process. Do you feel like. Do you feel like you’ve hit a checkpoint and finding your voice in their career?
Matt: What made one of the biggest differences and finding my voice was knowing who I was talking to you. Because if hypnotherapy is really good for quitting smoking, but if I’m not talking to someone who’s smoking, then why am I going to sit there and focus all of my message on smoking? It has nothing to do with them. And so that’s been a big part of finding my voice and I like doing that just personally, like when I meet someone and say, well, what does hypnotherapy. But I could go on and talk about hypnotherapy for the next week, but rather than just giving a random piece of information, I say, okay, well tell me a little bit about yourself. And they say, oh, okay, well they’ll send me. I really like, um, you know, I have a family of three, I work in construction and I’m wanting to get.
Matt: I wanted to get some education on the side so I can eventually build my own business. Well now I’m going to cater what I’m saying to them very differently and I can give specific examples of how hypnotherapy could help in their life, if that makes sense. So that’s a big part. I guess that would be considered more marketing approach, but that is finding your voice is your marketing. It’s what you’re telling to the people in. You need to kind of have in your mind the type of people that you want to work with. And so I mean, that kind of explains a little bit about how, how I found my voice and now I’m realizing that, oh my gosh, I have so much more to say. Um, and needing to know who it is that needs to hear that so I can direct those messages
Chad: to them specifically that, that really resonated with me because I’ve never thought about a talk about finding your voice a lot, but I’ve never thought about how a part of finding your voice is knowing who you’re talking to. Um, so that, that’s powerful because it’s. When I think about it knowing who I’m talking to with my company, Arrow light, that is a huge part of what’s helped me find my voice and my career as well. You found your voice in your career when you know who your careers for or when you know who your message is for, and in other words, who’s receiving your message? Right? It’s like sometimes we were using our voice, we have a message, but if we don’t know who’s receiving it, then we feel a bit lost. And it sounds like when, when you knew who your message was for and who your services were for, you’re like, Whoa, I have a lot more to say now. I have so much more to say now that I know who I’m talking to.
Matt: And uh, for those who might be asking themselves like, how, how do I know who my audience is? Or even how do I know who like my ideal client is? I don’t want to tell you how I answered that question. And part of that includes giving a shameless plug for chat as a mentor. And so this is. I had been wildly inconsistent in my business for about a year, year and a half where I had asked months and then it would slow and it just really go down and up and down, up and down. And I blamed it on the fact that when I was doing marketing for therapy sessions, I didn’t have as much time to market. And so then my marketing would go down and then I would finish with the clients I was working with and then I’d have more time to market and I’d get more clients because the real problem was that, um, my system in, in who I was wanting to attract, it wasn’t clear.
Matt: And so, uh, you know, me and Chad were, were doing. Chad was doing business mentoring with me and he said, okay, well, he was asking me questions on who is your ideal client? And I thought, well, I’ve never answered that question. Well, let’s answer it together. And I realized who my ideal client was was someone who wanted to do the work on themselves. Someone who had the money and was willing to come and do a weekly session for eight weeks in a row and it was something so simple. As soon as I made that switch, I would tell people, you’re going to come in every week and then guess what? They came in every week and all of a sudden I turned people who’ve worked my ideal client into my ideal client because I knew who my ideal client was and I kid you not. I went from doing like five to 10 sessions a week on average some weeks that are 15. So I’m excited about five, maybe 10 on average to 20 weeks, 25 a week consistently just by making that small change. So that was really cool to see how my communication and knowing what I wanted was affecting the people who are around me either being my ideal client or not.
Chad: And that’s the other side of finding your voice and your career is knowing what you want. And, uh, and so, so thanks for that because that, that’s helping us to see that one would need to know who we’re serving and who are messages for and to need to know where we want and once matt figured out what he wanted, all of a sudden that clarity was so much more precise and when you have that clarity, when he got focused in, now people are showing up because what this is, is, um, it seems like you, you basically put yourself in order, you know, you put, you put your business in a state of order by knowing what you wanted and who you wanted to serve. And because of it now people showed up, you know, and, and they, and they started to show up more because they knew the expectations were very clear of, of what their behavior needed to be as that ideal client in a really, uh, kind of help things to go from there.
Chad: So yeah, thank you. Thanks for sharing your experience with that. I think that’s really helped us to kind of figure out a how to find your voice in her career. And I hope that all you’re watching are, are, are trying to internalize this into whatever it is that your career is that you need to find out who everything is for and then what it is you want and that’s going to help a long way. What are some things, math, that you’ve done to connect to your way to your goals? How has your relationship has been beneficial for you being able to grow your business?
Matt: The idea is that there’s two main reasons that we don’t achieve our goals. One is that our goals are too big. The second is that our goal is too small, right? And so when we have goals that are just too massive and we’re moving along, but it still feels like they’re just so far above our head, there’s no way to really finish all of that. Then we get disheartened or give up, you know, the other thing. And, and I, I, that was my goal setting pattern for years because I’m going to do this. And it was just a huge theme and it was hard to believe it is. We’re talking about belief. Yeah. So I would do, I started doing very small goals weekly or daily action steps that were attainable and it’s like I would look back and all of these goals that I had accomplished, but I didn’t feel accomplished. I hadn’t actually created anything that I look back and it was like, oh wow. It’s like, like I hit my goals, but
Chad: it didn’t mean anything. So to find the balance was just so simple. It was having your vision of the bigger goal in creating the weekly or monthly or even quarterly goals to accomplish that. I love what you said, Matt, about how um, the two main reasons why we don’t accomplish our goals and that it’s either too big or too small. I’ve experienced both of that. I’ve set goals that are too big and I get overwhelmed and I keep not accomplishing it or keep feeling like a failure. And then I’ve had goals that are too small, so because they’re so small amount excited enough about it. So it sounds like when they’re too big, you don’t have enough of a belief that you can get it. When it’s too small, you’re not excited enough about it and so both of them you end up not not pursuing either one and it just kinda stay stuck and what you said was really helpful about just breaking everything up and having that plan. Those the years out, months out, a couple of weeks and weekly goals, monthly goals and really breaking that up really helps you to form that belief much faster. What are some, what are a couple of two to three tips about how to connect with people and how to form valuable relationships that can help you find more career success? Like what are some things that you’ve done that have helped you form mutually beneficial relationships?
Matt: Yeah. A one tip I want to give starts out with when we’re talking to one person, a lot of times we mistakenly think that we’re talking to one person and so let’s say that someone asks me like hypnotherapy is and knowing who your audience is, like we talked about before, that that’s important, but one tip I want to give is even thinking beyond that. So hypnotherapy isn’t for everybody and even if I find out what exactly that they’re wanting to accomplish in life, that doesn’t mean it’s still going to be for them. So when I talked to someone, I think I’m, I’m, I’m working through that person to whoever it is in their life that does need hypnotherapy because they know hundreds of people and odds are if they know hundreds of people, then maybe a dozen or two dozen of them need hypnotherapy and maybe one or two of those people will come to mind as I’m talking to them.
Matt: So that’s one thing I love when I’m, when I’m connecting with someone that it’s not just connecting to them and it’s important to be present with them. I’m not saying that you need to have your mind elsewhere. You want to be present with them. But while you’re doing so approaching and having the understanding that. And I even say this to people, you know, I say hypnotherapy isn’t for everyone and it might not be for you, but it is for those who are going through the who’ve been through trauma. It’s for those who are struggling with their past and they’re ready to move on and someone might say, yeah, I don’t have any problems with that, but if I had, if I had just been talking to them, they would say, yeah, that’s not me, and Kinda like move on to the next, but if I were this, despite, this isn’t for everybody, it might not be for you, but maybe it’s for someone that you know who’s been through some really extreme trauma and is ready to move forward. They’re ready to put the work in and they’re going to be my brother. Oh my cousin. Oh my coworkers. They’re going to think of someone who had who, who meets hypnotherapy and it’s going to feel very natural for them to be like, I wonder if they’ve tried that and reach out to them or something and then you can have systems in place to catch those referrals and everything. But like just as far as connecting with someone. I love doing that.
Chad: I’ve never thought about how when you’re connecting with the person you’re speaking with, that you need to be thinking several levels out in your network that you’re that like you said, be present, be with that person, but at the same time you’re thinking, who is this person going to connect them to? Who’s going to connect me to this person? Who’s going to connect me to this person? And as you’re creating a network, you’re. You’re thinking though several levels out and that helps you to maybe stay in a conversation that you would have abandoned by. Now. If you were thinking that this person was the end goal and that is really helpful. I’m going to. I’m making a note of that. Okay?
Matt: In our modern technology, we understand that when you share something with a friend on facebook or twitter or instagram and if it gets reshared or whatever, then it goes out to it. That’s how things go viral so quickly, but even more important than sharing something is having that genuine connection with someone. So if you can have that genuine connection and their mind is going to to answer the question like who, who needs chatter, who needs matt? And so it’s essentially taking that same concept that we’re using in social media and making it have the face to face value.
Chad: That’s really great. Thank you. Did you have any other tips you want to share about.
Matt: Yeah, one more tip. Okay. I was looking on my facebook page of who hid gone and given me a testimonial and I was feeling really good about myself because it felt like everybody who has shared a testimonial on my facebook page with someone who I consider someone of influence, um, uh, business owners and be like, just like people that are high quality business people. And I was thinking, Wow, I’m, you know, I did such a great job in attracting all of these people. And then I came back down to earth and I, I didn’t just put my blinders on, but I saw the bigger picture. It’s not that I was so good with those people that fit those people who are successful understand the value of helping others. So they with no compensation for their own, went to my facebook page, gave me a testimonial to help me and they receive nothing in return, but I’m looking at all those people, the, the, the mindset of someone who will go and help others first without receiving anything, and that all of them were those successful, the people that I would consider successful.
Matt: I’m like, that’s not just a coincidence. So my tip is how can you go out and help that person that you’re talking to with no, uh, no ulterior motive of getting something in return. So really if you just go out there and serve that person there, they’re going to benefit from it, but they’re also going to have. There’s so many reasons behind the reason that you see that that could cause that growth. But I think that a big part of it is just the mindset of someone who’s willing to go out and serve others just to serve. Obviously you’re not going to fake it, but if you really truly believe in it, go out and say it.
Chad: And that’s, and that’s contagious. That’s when your, when your servant serve and you will connect, serve and you’ll connect with people’s, but I just got out of that that if you go into a conversation into a new relationship, try just with the objective of how can I help this person without any understanding of what they’re going to give you in return. What I’ve noticed just in relationships I’ve built over this last couple of years is that the Times that I’ve done that somehow I still ended up creating a mutually beneficial relationship. Whether it was down the road or whether it was at some other time in some weird way, something came back to me. Even if I had no idea what that was going to be. Just going into that relationship, wanting to serve and help, that person becomes mutually beneficial, but you don’t have to see how it’s going to be that from right from the bat and even if you never see what ends up coming back to you.
Chad: So what you just helped somebody and like he, like, like you just said, Matt, that successful people know how to just reach out and help and they know how to, how to serve even if they don’t expect anything in return. And so thanks for sharing that because that’s really helpful as we’re learning about how to connect our way to our goals that we need to not go into every new conversation as we’re networking with, okay, what can I get from this person? How can they help me? How can they help my business? Because it’s hard. It’s easy to get into that, that I’ve found myself so many times starting a conversation with somebody, maybe be thinking about, okay, what’s my objective here? How can this person help me grow my business? Um, and it doesn’t turn out the same. They can almost just feel that you’re not quite interested in them as a person. You see them more as like an asset, um, and uh, it doesn’t turn it, you then donut and an end, the end up creating as valuable as a really have a as and when you go in thinking, okay, this is a human being that I want to help, what can I offer you? And you will find success that way, that, that, that, that anyone, they, that the success will come boomerang back to you in some way as you go out. Just seeking to serve people.
Matt: Oh Man. The mindset of someone who’s just willing to go out there and serve and help others. Like if you were to go to a networking meeting and you almost start to like as a business owner, you kind of are a sales person because you’re selling your business. But if you go out there thinking, okay, I want everybody to come to me, then that energy will repel people away so quickly. It’s like having a door to door salesman is show up on your doorstep and 99 percent of door to door salesmen are only think about themselves. And so the first thing you want to do is get them off, but there is that one percent of the door to door salesman who actually does. They’ll ask you questions and I’ve had someone say, you know what, but I’m telling you isn’t for you. And they left. And I was like, well, now I want it because they were thinking of me. I wanted to help that person out. Does that make sense? I honestly didn’t need it, but like the energy there was, they were thinking about me and so I wanted to help them. Whereas most people are just thinking about themselves and so I don’t want anything to do with that because there’s no trust.
Chad: Yeah. That, uh, I, I just a connection to. It was just made in my brain and it was like this explosion in my brain when you said that I want everyone to come to me. And when you have that mentality or pushing everyone away, that’s exactly. So because I was, was, was very shy growing up and going and getting into my career. I still was struggling with that a bit. And I would go into a, into a, into a networking meeting or some kind of event and in my mind I was literally thinking that thought I wish people would just come to me and start talking because I didn’t have much of a problem continuing conversation with somebody if they came to me first and if they initiated it. But I was just hoping that people, everyone just come to me, me, me, me, me, me.
Chad: And. And it wasn’t, it didn’t work. You know, people wouldn’t just cut, you know, occasionally somebody would come to me because they probably saw me standing alone and wanted to, to want it to talk. But for the most part it was me having that mentality was pushing people away. But now that I’m really working hard at being interested in people and in going after them and forming those relationships and thinking about how we can serve them, I’m starting to see a huge difference. And what you said as well, I really liked is how that builds trust when you have that service mentality. Because the basis of trust is that the other person trusts your motives. Right? So if they think that your motive is to just build their own business, then they’re not going to trust you as much because they’re like, well, you’re here to just try to get something from me and you’re not going to give anything in return.
Chad: When somebody trusts that your motives are not self serving, they you now they open up, their voice opens up, they communicate with you more openly and honestly. And that is the foundation of any solid relationship. And so thanks for connecting that to trust because trust is the basis for communication is the basis for solid relationships and if you can build trust with people, you’re on your way to career success. And the key in there is that you’re not thinking about yourself and, and, and so that’s. Yeah, that’s really awesome. Because like for me, I used to. I was so afraid of coming across as prideful or cocky that I ended up just because I was trying so hard to be humble. I ended up being extremely selfish because I was only thinking about myself and when somebody else was talking, I wasn’t really listening. I was only thinking about what I was going to say next because I was so insecure with my talking abilities that I kept trying to plan out what I was going to say and I wasn’t really listening to people.
Chad: And now I’m finding that if I just listen, I know what to say next, it just comes. And so, uh, yeah, I’ve definitely had some personal experience with that. And it’s true. It’s very true. So, yeah. So thank you. Thank you. Um, one thing that I like to talk about as well is that we’re in this modern world where we’re hyper connected through all this digital technology through the Internet, through our phones, and this, this hyperconnection with the world around us can cause a lot of noise, which in cottage, which can also cause us to be very distracted and can prevent us from finding our voice or finding clarity because there’s so many choices and there’s so much input coming our way. Hey, you should do this, you should do this. And it gets very confusing and it’s hard to make confident decisions, which means that we end up not managing our time very well and we have a hard time moving forward. Um, so there, there are negative sides to the, to the fact that we’re hyper connected, but there’s also a lot of positives and I want to know your take on what benefits do you see in our digital connection through all this remote communication technology and also what are some of the, what are some of the cons of it and how are you using technology to help you gain traction in your career rather than as a distraction?
Matt: Yeah. Well, I’ll answer your last question first as far as how am I using technology? People think of hypnotherapy and they think of, you know, I could show you my hiplet chair or hypnotherapy chair that’s right here. They think about coming into the office and sitting in the chair and maybe the lighting and the music and everything and that’s good. But part of what I want to do is to break that mold as far as of what a hypnotherapy session is. Because me and you are talking face to face, everything that I do as a hypnotherapist is nonverbal, so having these platforms where we can connect on a video call and do hypnotherapy online. Oh my gosh, how powerful is that? The hypnotherapist can be wherever they want this. The client can be wherever they want. That means it could be in their, in their own bed, like a lot of people get nervous before my sessions.
Matt: They show up and they’re like kind of shaking and not know what to expect and what we’re gonna do is we’re going to relax and you especially needed because of how stressed you are, but so there’s some benefits to doing a hypnotherapy session remotely where they’re in their maybe their pajamas or their own bed or their blankie or whatever it is that. So that’s the really cool things that can happen with hypnotherapy and that’s my push in the future within the US. A big part of my one year goal is to have 10 hypnotherapists on my team all over doing sessions with people from all over. Just really cool stuff that we’re doing with technology. So to say that, you know, there’s only bad things happen with technology would be just completely naive to think that there’s only good things happening with technology would be as equally naive because there are definitely some problems that come with technology. I focus on the word intention.
Matt: I personally turn off all notifications, all the little things that are gonna, grab my attention and just start to spin it. And so that like if the APP is controlling my thoughts, I have a problem with that. So if I go to an APP, I want it to be my intention beforehand. That’s what I see so many people like in, you’ve experienced this, Chad, were you? Someone’s like, oh well you go look this up for me on your phone. You grab your phone, you see a text, you see an email, you start doing a google search in 15 minutes later. They’re like, Hey, what was it? And you’re like, oh yeah. It was like your phone started taking over for you. And so I love the, the connectivity that we have and the technology that we have and where I see it becoming. One area I see it becoming highly problematic is when it takes over our thought process and we just start doing things because our phone tells us to.
Matt: It gives us a reminder. Now I’ve set reminders on my phone all the time on purpose, but I’m the one that sets those so they’re still intention there versus just looking at my phone or my computer and having all of these notifications pop up so if I go to facebook it’s because I chose to. I don’t get any notifications from facebook and guess what? Some people try to connect with me and it takes me a couple days to get back to them and that facebook and their algorithm, they even deemed me for that and I don’t care. I do not care because I’d rather get a dean for responding to someone two days later than have my entire brain hyperfocused on. Always needing to be there. That
Chad: is really insightful. Matt. Everything you just shared about how we can use technology to gain traction, but how it can also be a distraction. Uh, I love what you said about just using the word intention. Ask Yourself, what is my intention with how I’m using this technology and if your intention helps you get closer to your goals, helps you connect with people and build more valuable relationships and it’s a good intention. And so I, I think is we just ask ourselves to, we have to get in the habit of asking ourselves and evaluating anytime we’re using our technology, is it serving us or as a hurting us, is it helping us gain traction or is it a distraction? And a, I also liked the question you asked about is this app controlling my thoughts because that’s huge. Our apps are not just controlling our foster, controlling our emotions and it’s no wonder that people are getting so moody because we have these apps and we have all these.
Chad: We have our head is now getting organized and apps and we can use like I use lots of apps on my phone to help me stay focused on certain tasks, to help me prioritize my time, to remind me of appointments that I have to help me keep my life organized. Um, but I try to go through and make sure that I have no apps that are distracting my attention, but only a giving me in serving my life and serving my career and, and similar to what Matt has done. I also don’t have notifications turned on on my phone. Um, because like you were saying that it, it hijacks your focus of that moment. Like you had an intention to go open your phone to do something deliberate and productive and all of a sudden you get a facebook notification and it totally pulls your attention away and it’s no wonder that people are struggling to gain traction in their career.
Chad: Why these young people are having a hard time getting going because their intention and their attention is constantly getting distracted and it’s not the technology’s fault. It’s how they’re managing their technology and that they’re letting the technology just run loose and run rampant and control their life. Whereas when you take control of your technology and you use it for good, there’s so much that can be achieved by our hyperconnection, by all this new communication technology. Right now I’m interviewing matt through zoom, remote communication technology software that has a Webcam and everything, and now you all can watch this show and learn from what we’re saying because of technology, because of this remote communication technology like Matt said about because hypnotherapy, uh, how he can have remote sessions with people. There’s more and more psychologists that are using remote sessions for counseling. There’s telemedicine where you have doctors that are communicated remotely with patients.
Chad: There’s so much good that is being done in the world with our technology, but a lot of people who are not the. If you’re somebody, if you’re somebody who’s struggling to gain the traction in your career that you were wanting, take a look at how you’re using your technology. Is it helping you gain traction? Is that holding you accountable? Is it keeping you on track and focus is, uh, keeping your life organized or is it dismantling your life and getting you distracted? And if you keep asking yourself that, you’re going to be able to find that happy place where you’re using technology for good and to help improve your connections with people. Because I mean I do 75 percent of my networking remotely and sometimes I’ll meet somebody on an APP, but then we’ll set up a time for a video call so I can see them so I can hear them and then we can gain a real.
Chad: And I’ve and I’ve and I’ve been able to form real relationships with people just by having a video call because they’re in another state somewhere and, and we see how we can use this technology to actually form real connections that we don’t always have to see. Obviously there’s going to be a stronger connection when you’re in person with somebody. Just that physical presence is going to always create the strongest connection. But it’s amazing just how strong of a connection we can gain with somebody remotely using our modern technology. So thanks for sharing all your tips today on how to connect to our goals on how to use technology to help us on how to talk to ourselves better and reorganize the beliefs in our head that are interfering with our success. And I hope that all of you have learned today from what Matt has shared with us about communication, about finding our voice and our career and his story on how he’s found his voice in his career because he has a really cool experience with with shifting careers and also having some time where he was trying to figure out his own business and things run going as fast as he had hoped, but then he figured it out and through connections that he made with people and through talking to himself differently and changing those beliefs, he was able to find the success that he’s looking for.
Chad: And as we all know, finding our voice and our career is a constant lifetime journey will always be hitting new milestones along the way. It will always be hitting new checkpoints along the way as we continue to hone in and focus. Our voice and focus are our intentions and build our path before us. So thank you matt for joining us on. Connect up. How can our, our audience find out more about you and what you do and learn more from you and maybe get some help from you?
Matt: Yeah. The easiest way would be to go to the website one mind hypnotherapy.com if you are ready for, you know, to, to do a hypnotherapy session or will. My ideal clients are those who do you know, four to eight sessions and are ready to really break through. Um, you know, you can schedule on the page. There are some really cool free resources. I have an audio called letting go of fear and it’s using hypnotherapy to overcome fears and phobias and that’s a $12 audio download that I’m giving away to people for free. All sorts of other on there. You can meet more of the team and everything on the website so that that’s the easiest way to get to know everybody. We have some social media platforms and aren’t as consistent on the website is really the best way.
Chad: Okay, great. Well thanks so much. Be sure to check out his website, learn more about what he does and now thanks for joining us on the show.