(Note: This is an automated transcript, so their may be some formatting and grammatical errors)
This morning I wanted to have a conversation with you about introverts versus extroverts and why both groups of people can struggle with their communication and what is the difference really, what does that really mean and why do I consider myself to be both? This is a topic that has always interested me, uh, because so for myself, I’ve always grown up being an introvert, but I, I, I grew up with the negative behavioral tendency of an introvert, which is to be shy. You can be an introvert and not shy shine. This is something I’m also passionate about. Uh, being shy just means that you have low self esteem. Okay. You have low self esteem to the point where you have a hard time reaching out to people and connecting. So, but what we do is we tend to attach shyness to introversion and then we start thinking of introversion as a bad thing. It is not at all.
It’s likely that I don’t have the exact stat, but I’m going to assume that 50 percent of people are introverts and 50 percent are extroverts. I don’t know, but introversion is not a weakness or a bad thing. It is, it is true. Introversion just means that you’re somebody who looks within yourself first as you’re trying to create something and extroversion, they tend to look outside of themselves first as they’re trying to create something. And because of that, extroverts tend to, uh, seek out people and social situations more readily and more frequently than introverts because introverts tend to look more within to make decisions. But, um, with that said, I, I need to get across the point that as an introvert myself and growing up shy and being very, uh, I felt like crap. A lot of times when people would label me as shy, you know, kids at school would say, you’re so shy, how come you’re so shy?
But even people in my own family would call me out for being shy or quiet as if it was a negative thing. And, and so in reinforced the low self esteem that I already had. Right? Uh, being labeled as such, but I was, grew up. I grew up with this belief that my introversion was a negative thing because I was attaching my introversion with my shyness. Yes, the shyness was a negative thing because I had low self esteem. I needed to overcome that, but my introversion was not. I have finally separated those two things. And, and at the beginning of this video I said I’m an extrovert and an introvert. And here’s why. Here’s why. So I lead with introversion. Okay? I look within myself first. I, uh, I don’t seek out frequent social situations, um, because it does drain me if I’m socializing for too long, day after day, um, but something that I do now seek out his connection with people.
So as an introvert growing up and still an introvert, but growing up when I was more than that shy state, I avoided connecting with people. Okay. I, I avoided seeking those connections. But an introvert does not have an excuse to avoid connecting with people. We all need connection. If you want success in your career, you’ve got to be willing to connect with people. And so I finally discovered my passion with connecting with people. But I connect with people in my maybe introverted way, you know, I like to seek out more meaningful longterm relationships than more superficial short burst type of relationships. But I now make connection a priority even though I’m still an introvert. So it’s not like I’ve overcome my introversion. I haven’t overcome my weakness of being introverted. So please, please stop talking about introversion as a weakness or as something you overcame. I hear sometimes I hear some communication people that are teaching about communication that, oh, I used to be an introvert, but I finally overcame that weakness.
I’ll come on. Being introvert is not a weakness. That’s great if you overcame the. The weakness of having, of being shy and having low self esteem and then thinking low of yourself. That’s cool that you overcame that. I have overcame that as well, but I’ve not overcome my weakness of introversion because introversion is a good thing and we as people need to embrace both introversion and extroversion as we’re trying to create things because we need to take the time to look within ourself as we make decisions and reflect and we need to take the time to connect with other people and get their opinions as we’re trying to create. Okay. So, but an introversion tends to look within themselves first, then go out to other people and an extrovert goes out to other people then looks within themselves. But you have to do the look within yourself part, even if you’re an extrovert to kind of be complete and to be doing both, both are important.
So that’s that. Um, the essentially the, the main point that I wanted to kind of get across is that I guess I’m asking you who are you in the comments? I want to have a conversation with you about are you an introvert or an extrovert and what, what is, what does that mean to you? What is your extroversion mean to you? What is your introversion mean to you? I’m really curious on what your perspective is on all of this because we do have a variety of perspectives when it comes to introversion and extroversion of whether it’s a good or a bad thing. I really want your perspective on this so that I can continue to expand my perspective, but I want it to start the conversation by giving you my perspective and that is to just kind of sum it up that introversion and extroversion are both good.
Not One is better than the other. We both need to activate both of those types of behaviors and movement, um, in order to create stuff. And um, and the other point that I was a, I don’t know if you can remember, I don’t know what my other point was, but whatever, whatever I said earlier, just hopefully that helps to start the conversation, uh, about this because it needs to be more talk about this because there’s too many introverts out there who are walking around thinking that their introversion is some kind of weakness or disease that need to get rid of. And it’s not, it’s not so now to just kind of close this up today, I embrace my introversion. I’ve overcome a lot of my shyness, which was my low self esteem. Okay, let’s make sure we keep that separate from introversion. And now I as I create a look within myself first and I kind of do that self inner reflection alone first is I’m thinking of ideas and creating and then I go out to people to not only verify what I already kind of thought up, but also to gain feedback so then I can expand my perspective and change it and get their ideas.
And then of course as I go out to people, it’s through my connection with people that I end up actually creating what it is I came up with first with just myself. Because everything’s cocreated. We all need to connect. So I’m going to finish this by saying whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you need to make connection a priority. If you’re an introvert, you are not opted out of connecting with people. You’re just going to connect with people in a slightly different way or approach it slightly differently, but you end it. Extroverts both need to connect with people. That was the other thing I just popped into my mind. The other thing I wanted to bring up, which was um, how introverts and extroverts I mentioned at the beginning of this video, that they both have the tendency to have communication weaknesses. We often think of extroverts as being so great with our communication and introverts as sucking with their communication.
Hey, guess what? A introverts and extroverts both have just as much a tendency to have communication weaknesses because both tend to not be very good at listening unless you’ve learned how and have practiced and have gotten the skill. Extroverts tend to talk too much and so they’re not listening. They’re only thinking about what they’re going, that they’re just ready to just say what they’re going to say next. Introverts as well or not very good at listening and I know that because I am an introvert and I was not very good at listening before I trained myself and gain the skill. Introverts tend to be in their own head thinking they’re so, they’re so. Their confidence with talking is so low that they’re constantly thinking about what they’re going to say next and so they as well or not listening. Right, and so we both, we both, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you tend to struggle with listening and so as an extrovert, don’t excuse yourself from having to learn communication skills because you need to learn communication skills just as much as an introvert does because you have just as many tendencies to not communicate well as an introvert does.
Okay, and you both have listening problems, so let me just, I’m just going to close up with that and just encourage you to get out there and connect with people, whether they’re an introvert or an extrovert. Please leave some comments, ask some questions. I want to have a conversation with you right now on this whole topic of introversion and extroversion. So have a great day.