07: How to Find Mentorship, Upgrade Self-Talk and Create Consistency with Chris Burns

Chad:               Chris grew up very last numb and very disconnected, and he hit rock bottom at one point, winding up in a very scary place years ago. He then made a choice to invest in over 10,000 hours into the field of communication, business and leadership, and now he coaches entrepreneurs and leaders to overcome obstacles and eliminate that self sabotage so they can better build businesses and make a much bigger impact. He spoken at more than 90 live events across the country and has inspired over 300 role models and influencers through his show, the 12 hour marathon that occurs every Wednesday, and it’s called becoming your greatest possible self. That’s his podcast. Definitely check it out. Welcome to the show, Chris.

Chris:               Thank you Chad. It’s a pleasure to be here. Super stoked to connect up and really dive into the mindset of what it takes to achieve our goals and stay connected with people who we want to be around and who we aspire to be around next level connections, next level relationships and next level our life. Definitely. We’re all ready to get to the next level. I know that we will after today’s conversation, so tell us a little bit about how you found your voice and your current career. Kind of what brought you to where you are today and how did you guys get so interested in in personal performance and mindset? Well, the story is always evolving and I believe when we master our story and being able to share our journey with others or at least put energy and effort into that, that’s a huge first point to being able to connect.

Chris:               If you can tell your story in a powerful way that people say, I get it. I get why he does what he does and that’s a huge bonus points for you right off the bat. So for me, I started off playing lots of video games. I loved leveling up my character in these video games. I loved growing to be the best guy could wearing all the armor and using all the weapons, beating the bosses, the biggest enemies that I could. And through that, that period of time I was also very introverted. I was. I was super closed off from people I didn’t like getting uncomfortable. I was afraid to ask out. My very first girlfriend and my senior year of high school, my friend actually had to ask her out for me and uh, you know, like I was, I was really afraid of being up in front of people.

Chris:               I didn’t like making speeches when I remember in high, in college, my face turned beet red when I had to give a speech and I just feel myself burning up right. And not, not in a good way was like embarrassed. I burned it up is usually a good thing because our coaching companies burned up coaching, uh, but it really, you know, I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, but I loved growing up and having fun. I didn’t love being in the world because when I went to school I felt like this small, weak shrimpy little kid. Right. And I’m five, nine. It’s not like I’m, I’m like this really small kid, but I felt that way. Now for anyone who’s listening, how many times has your self image gotten in the way of you going after an opportunity, going after something that you really wanted, getting to your next level of achieving your goals?

Chris:               For me that was, it’s always been my biggest challenge and I think for most people it is. So through that period of, of high school I was studying, I was in honors classes and worked really hard at great work ethic, but I started veering off track. I started finding my significance in my worth in hanging out with the popular kids or what I thought was popular and started getting into drinking and partying and smoking and really just was not making good decisions. So fast forward a couple of years. I’m in college, I’ve actually graduated college with my electrical engineering degree and uh, I am going to go into a rave and I hit, I wind up at the rave and the next thing I know I hit rock bottom, right. I, I, I got arrested and uh, luckily the charges were dropped. The case was dismissed, but it was in that moment I was in jail.

Chris:               I was there for two days and I, I just recognized that I was throwing my life away with poor decisions. I was hanging around the wrong people. I was not focused on my goals. I was, I was like trying to, to be cool and just skate by in life and when I had to call my parents and let them know the decisions that I had been making, what those consequences had wound up too. I just felt like the biggest disappointment in the world. Um, so it was that, that was my rock bottom moment where I said no more and I started focusing on what can I do to make sure I never wind up in this place again. And I started going to toastmasters, personal development events and developing myself, my communication leadership abilities. And then three and a half years ago I started my coaching company after going through tons of training and personal development and started the 12 hour marathon a year and a half ago and just been growing and doing everything that I can expand my impact and influence and make a bigger difference in people’s lives. Ever since then

Chad:               you are me. Like, it’s like you’re telling my story. I feel like I’m hearing hearing you dislike, tell my story. Um, and, and a lot of ways and different than other ways as well. Um, because I, I was, I grew up a very introverted and I’m, and I like to still think of myself as an introvert in the sense that I like to have that time to, to, to, to, to reflect, to I’m not the person that’s going to be like the, the most talkative one of the party, but I have overcome a lot of my communication weaknesses that were associated with my introversion all growing up. And it really, uh, it really held me back because as I was exiting college and ready to start a career, I was going into a career in filmmaking and I was really passionate about. I’m still passionate about that and I’m broken that into what I’m doing now.

Chad:               But, um, I was, I was hoping to just, you know, make some movies and with my skill I could find success without having to connect through people. I’d go to a film festival and I’d be the guy in the corner not talking to anyone. And that’s the whole point why you go to something like that. And, uh, and I just, I wished I was hoping that maybe maybe I can be that exception that somehow gets to success without having to go through people. And uh, now I definitely wasn’t. It was not the exception and it and it just, it. Uh, and so that’s amazing how you were able to make that, you hit that point where you made a decision. It sounded like you made just a choice that led you on this whole journey of investing so much time and effort into gaining all those skills that now you can offer this, this help to people. That’s right. Yeah. Right.

Chris:               That’s right. You know, I think it’s our duty and our obligation to always have one hand in each direction, one hand reaching up to mentors, coaches, people who are a couple steps ahead of us and obviously, you know, helping people at your same level as well. And also one help one hand down to the people who are behind you. A couple of steps behind you who don’t know as much as you do, who aren’t as fortunate as you are. And that includes tithing, giving 10 percent away to people who are in need or you know, causes things that you support, things that you believe in that make the world a better place. I think that that’s, that’s important to have that energetic exchange and awareness of always asking the people who are ahead of you. Seek seeking out mentors, coaches, and getting that help and then helping the people who are a couple steps behind you.

Chad:               Yeah. And, and, and now that you’re, the place that you’re at, do you think it’s important to continue to seek out mentors throughout the rest of your life? Oh my gosh. So

Chris:               can I can 100 percent say when I wasn’t seeking out mentors, when I felt like I’m good, I got this, I’ve already gotten the help that I needed or making whatever kind of excuses or justifications why I didn’t need to actively seek and ask and find mentors and role models to surround myself with. Yes. I had like even this past year and a half that I’ve been doing this show, this 12 hour marathon, I still in some of those periods was not actively involved in being mentored and having mentors who I’m communicating with on a regular basis and I found that my growth stagnated when that was happening and when I’m having the courage to ask people for their time, for their wisdom, for their opinion, for their help, and being willing to get outside of my own comfort zone, feeling like I can solve it all on my own. Only when I get outside of that is when I see the growth is when I see the expansion is when I see the results start coming in. So 100 percent. I do believe that it’s critical and I have suffered when I didn’t do that.

Chad:               Yeah. And that. And that is a. and I’ve finally accepted that too when I was trying to do it on my own. A part of that was I wasn’t seeking out mentors and coaches and teachers and and all of that, and that is a part of connecting our way to our goals. A crucial part is connecting to the right mentors and coaches and teachers that are good, that are where you want to be, that know what you want to know that or that, that have some wisdom there that they can share with you to shortcut your way there. And it’s just, it’s such a mistake when we try to just do it all on our own and in and with building a business. I know what it’s like to, um, you know, when you have very little resources and money to be like, oh, I can’t, I can’t invest in getting help.

Chad:               I just need to figure this out on my own. Google my way to success, you know, and it just, it, it, it doesn’t work. It’s so worth seeking out those mentors. Another reason why I’m doing this show is I see the people I’m interviewing as well as, as a mentor to me. Like you’re giving me great advice and as I get to pick your brain and anyone that interview on the show, I am learning how to better connect my way to my goals as well. And it’s. And it’s really exciting. Yeah. Yeah, it’s critical man, and I think what you said there is is important because

Chris:               we surround ourselves with these people. Do your best to to get any environments, go to these, these associations, these seminars, these clubs, these groups, these masterminds, these facebook groups, these wherever you can find your people who you want to be like and then ask if you don’t ask. The answer’s always no, and chat I how you mentioned, you know, especially in those times where you feel like you’re low on resources, you’re low on money. I was just talking to a guy yesterday and he was working with Russell Brunson from clickfunnels and he’s making all these videos for him and he was talking to someone who like, he wanted to work with him. You wanted him to be his mentor, but he thought, oh, I’m not there yet. I don’t have enough money to pay him. And he simply just went and asked, will you be my mentor?

Chris:               And the guy said, yes, I’d love to. I love the work that you’re doing. I love the energy that you’re putting into the world. I’m happy to mentor you. And then he obviously, you know, when you find the mentor go above and beyond to to show them how much you care, how much you appreciate them, see how you can help them, how you can support them in their efforts and their causes, their business, and that’s the way to, to reciprocate. But a lot of people who have that wisdom, who have the experience, who have the wealth, have more than enough and they want to give back. There’s a part of us that loves giving back, that loves helping the next generation, the people around us who want to, who really want it.

Chad:               You just answered my next question that popped in my head about like, why do these people agreed to mentor? Even if they, especially if they agree to do it for free or whatever, like why is it that they feel inside of them, this desire to give their time to somebody younger who trying to do what they’re doing now. That’s a great question. I started like, I started feeling some tingling going on with it. It’s awesome because

Chris:               everyone needs help. Everyone gets help along their journey and for anyone to think that they do it alone is total and complete bs, right? Like our society is so connected these days. Maybe in the past, you know, thousands of years ago or even hundreds of years ago, people were able to do it on their own and you know, figure out their way with natural skill and talent, inability and in this mindset they are born, but you’re brought into this world through parents. So from the very start you have to depend on someone and it’s when these people, you know, we, we get these wounds, we get these pains and these traumas that happened to us when our parents don’t show up when they said they were going to show up or they, they treat us badly or they blow up and they get mad and we take that as, oh, I shouldn’t have done that.

Chris:               I shouldn’t be this. I’m actually this way. I’m actually small, meek, timid, whatever, or to overcompensate. I have to be strong. I have to be tough. I have to be the provider. I have to be the problem solver. It’s these childhood wounds oftentimes that people carry with them, so the rest of their life that makes them, that gives them their identity that forces them to show up in a certain way. So circling back to your question why they do it is just because there’s a part of us that, that we recognize in the circle of life in nature. There’s a part of us that gives and and that that feels good. It really fulfills us to be of service and then there’s a part of us that receives and we love to receive. We love to be taken care of. We love to be. So I believe that it’s in our nature to have both of those elements.

Chad:               Yeah, definitely. That’s fantastic. Thanks for sharing that. I think as well how that sometimes these, these mentors, they look at that, they look at this person, they think you reminded me of me when I was in your spot and it’s like, Oh man, I wish. I wish I had that person that could reach down and help me when I was at that moment. So let me reach out and help you so I can bring you up to where I am and for someone who’s listening or watching right now, ask yourself, how are you receiving?

Chris:               On a scale of one to 10, are you really receiving that which is available around you or on the other hand, are you asking? Are you asking for what you need? Think of one person right now, think of one person, one professional association, one skill that you’re looking to develop and think of who you could go ask to mentor you, and before this interview is up or before the day is up, after listening to this or watching it, go ask that person, send an email, make a call, do what you can like literally take action. That’s the one thing I, I’m, I’m all about action. If you do not take different actions because of this interview, then our time was not spent wisely and nothing changes, then nothing will change. So you must change because of this, you must change to be able to be your greatest possible self, to evolve into your highest self.

Chris:               And that includes setting new goals. Being clear on the direction that you’re going, taking those different steps, so I just really wanted to throw that in as are you receiving, ask yourself, you know, and if not, give yourself permission. Say I give myself permission to receive. Write it down, put it on a sticky note on your, on your room, on your door, and your mirror. Wherever I give myself permission to receive and then ask for what you need because that is a huge part of of being worthy, of feeling like we’re enough, which a lot of people, most people are struggling with.

Chad:               Yes. If if any of you watching, if you apply exactly what he just said, if you walk away from this and that’s all you do is you go and you seek out a mentor right now for what it is you’re trying to do in your career, that’s going to advance you forward so much faster than you’ve been going and you’re going to get to where you want to be because now you have that guide to take you there. So thank. Thank you. And even even more than that, when you ask the act of asking your identity shifts, like who you know yourself as, it’s like before you’re like,

Chris:               oh, well, you know, maybe I should ask. Maybe I shouldn’t. By asking you, you literally become a bigger person. You literally like, Hey, I’ve asked him, who else can I ask? Who else can I ask for what I need? Well, I need a million dollars to fund this project. Boom. I’m going to go ask that person. I want to get a new job. I’m going to go ask the HR person or go up to the front desk and ask, hey, how do I get a job? You know, like what do I got to do? Who Do I got to ask for? What I need for the resources, for the connections, for the opportunities that I’m seeking?

Chad:               Definitely. And it puts you in that teachable, humble state so that you can receive the things you’re wanting to receive and the relationships that you want to receive. Because I turned myself off for so long from receiving new relationships, from seeking those new relationships out in a really held me back. What’s something that you’ve done? Like what, what have you done a connect your way to your goals and how has your relationship so far assisted you in your own career? Progress? Such a great

Chris:               question. Such a good question. Um, so for me, I was going through through college, I joined this network marketing company. I started learning about mentors, the power of being coached, the power of getting the right information from the right source. So after I had my rock bottom moment, I joined toastmasters. Now when I joined toastmasters, the very first thing I started doing is coming to the meetings early and staying late. And by doing that I was able to start introducing myself to people and meeting people and connecting with people. And it was awkward. It was weird. I was like, I don’t, I don’t. I don’t know if I like these people. I’m used to hanging out with people who party and rave and do all this stuff. Like, these are our business people who, you know, do the nine to five stuff and you know, whatever, like I just had whatever stories in my mind and I just saw that if I keep showing up early and staying late, opportunities will open up to me and soon enough I got invited to run for secretary of the club.

Chris:               People love my energy. They love that I showed up. They love that. I wanted to communicate. I wanted to help, you know, help them carry their bags to the car. Like be the person who outworks everyone else, be that person who shows up early, stays late, and then opportunities will open up to you and when you get an opportunity to volunteer, to serve, to help out more, to get closer to the leadership, you know, in essence, by getting into the this board position in serving as a secretary, I got closer to the sources of how things work. The behind the scenes, the, the leadership. And for me, I don’t want to just be in the audience. Just say, Hey, oh, this is a great seminar. This is a great class. It was a great thing, I want to run the thing, so I became the secretary and then I became the vice president of education, which basically runs the club and then I became the president of the club. Did you want to say something?

Chad:               Yes. That. Okay. So you got into this club, you and you’re like, hey, I want to kind of work my way up so that I can have more of a leadership involvement here. So you started to stay late and come early so that you could talk to the current leaders, which then became your mentors and your teachers at that moment that helped then bring you. And then before you know it, you were in that same position where now you are leading that group and, and you’ve got to exactly where you want it to be. And so that just teaches us a good lesson that like, I mean that we need, that’s a good example of what we just discussed of like just find somebody that’s doing what you’re doing. Start talking to them, put yourself in situations where you can talk to them. Um, I was definitely the guy that would not show up early, like when I started going to different networking events and different personal development conferences and stuff. I tried to get there, like, you know, just barely on time so I didn’t have to talk to people beforehand and leave just it was over so I didn’t have to talk to people afterward. I’m like, this is ridiculous. I’m not making any connections here. And once I corrected that behavior, yeah, it definitely makes a difference.

Chris:               And, and like you said, when you show up early, you actually get an opportunity to, to meet people under less stress, under less pressure as one at a time comes through the door, you’re like, oh, here’s the next person. It’s easy. It’s natural to go introduce yourself to them as they come in. So I, I try to plant myself right by the entrance. Oftentimes when I, when I’m going to a new group, when I’m going to a new meeting, whatever it might be, I’d go as or as close as possible to the entrance to welcome people in. And that’s another mindset shift as a connector because instead of being just a participant, just, Oh, I wonder who I should talk to. I wonder if, uh, you know, if that person has what I need, I wonder if that person is a good mentor. Welcome everyone.

Chris:               It’s not may not be your event. It may not be your, your thing that you’re putting on. But if you say, welcome, thanks for coming out. What had you come out here? Why are you here? What are you looking to find? What is your outcome for this event? People oftentimes are just so going through the motions, so autopilot that they don’t even know why they came there. Just like, oh, well, it’s an event. It’s a networking event. I probably should go, okay, why? What is your outcome? What would make this event worth it for you? If you found a mentor, if you found a new client, if you found a new strategic partner, what is that for you to find a new resource? If you learned about a new book to read, it doesn’t matter what it is, but just being aware of that outcome literally will change the course of your event and the, the course of your life.

Chad:               Definitely. Thank you. Thank you. That gives us really good insight into how to approach these situations. And let, let’s, let’s take a turn here and I want to kind of go inward a bit and what, let’s talk about that inner dialogue that happens inside of our head. The way that we talk to ourself all day long. We, everyone talks to themselves and, and sometimes it does come out of the mouth and then the guy next to you is like, what the heck did he just said? I, I used to, I, I would, uh, I’ve always kind of process my thoughts by speaking it, but I’d be mumbling it because it’s like if I had a hard time like getting in my own head and organizing things. Um, and when I first got, when I got married, my wife is like, are you talking to me? What are you saying?

Chad:               And it was just, it was just, I was trying to process my thoughts, but then I went from, you know, being the awkward mumbling to myself, talking to myself to actually getting a grip on the way I was really talking to myself because I realized that the way I was talking to myself, what the stories I was telling myself was the one thing that was keeping me from going out of my way to make those connections and to pursue the success success that I want it. So tell us a little bit about what you know about that self talk and how do we become aware of it. And then what do we do about it?

Chris:               Yeah. So I think the biggest reason why we want to become aware of our self talk is because most likely we’re not getting to where we want to go in life. So think your goals. Think about your objectives, what your current pursuits are. Then think about what are your biggest challenges in achieving that obstacle? So when you think about that challenge, let’s say for example, I want to get a job and I’m currently working somewhere, but I don’t feel qualified enough to get the position or the the thing that I want. So you can say to yourself, I don’t feel qualified. I’m not enough. I’m I don’t have enough experience. Start writing it down. Literally says the exercise you can do for an area of life that you’re not getting the results that you want. You can write down the area, you know, applying to a new job or making the money that I want, or having the relationship of my dreams.

Chris:               Write that down on a piece of paper, the top of the piece of paper, and then write challenges and then write down every reason why you’re not achieving it. That is your self talk that is going on in your mind. Everything that comes out underneath challenges, you just let it filter out. You don’t or you let it come out. You don’t filter it, you don’t judge it. You say, well, this is why. This is why. This is the. I think this. I feel this. I experienced this, I believed this, write those down, and on the piece of paper you will be able to see yourself talk. Now, the biggest challenge with people with their self talk is they’re not aware of their self talk. So this is one of the easiest way to get a clear picture about a self talk that is in an area that’s important to you.

Chris:               So whether it’s health, relationships, spirituality, money, uh, you know, whatever career, any area that you’re not experiencing, the results that you want, you’re probably thinking about it in a way that isn’t serving you because your thoughts lead to your feelings lead to your actions which lead to your results. So when you start changing your thoughts with, you know, looking at that page that you have, you can literally cross out a thought that you don’t, you don’t want to believe anymore. So for example, the challenge and getting the relationship of my dreams, I’m not pretty enough. Okay? So you can cross that out on your paper, literally draw a line through it, and then right next to it, right? I’m beautiful, right? If you, if you feel like you’re broke, right, cross that out. I’m broke and right. I’m abundant. If you feel like you aren’t qualified enough, cross that out and write.

Chris:               People love to hire me. People love having me on the team. People think I’m more than qualified enough. I’m more than qualified enough. Whatever it is that you want to replace it with, but it’s literally you do this until. Okay, so just going through this exercise once, writing this down on a piece of paper, once I wish that would solve your problems, you read your ways, raise a magic wand, a flick, a magic wand, and all of a sudden it’s all better, but that’s not the case. It really takes time. It takes discipline, it takes effort, and the other thing that I highly recommend is, is implanting in your mind a soaking your mind and brain washing your mind with positivity, with things that inspire you with motivation. There’s of motivational videos on Youtube. There’s tons of great books out there, so really find the sources of information, whether it’s mentors, whether it’s people, whether it’s books, whether it’s podcasts like this one, whether it’s connecting up, whether it’s following Chad on all his social medias and videos and everything that he does, you know, really make a commitment to consume that content more so that you reprogram your mind because your program from, you know, zero to seven is the majority of it, and then even through junior high, high school, whatever those teenage years, you’re receiving more programming, education, media, parents, friends, cetera.

Chris:               You are being brainwashed already. You’re already being programmed to think and believe and act and feel certain ways, so you have to replace those beliefs through consistent repetition of what you do want of making a constant choice, constant choice that I want to. I want to believe something different. I want to think something different. I want to feel something different. I want different results, so here’s what I’m creating. Here’s what I’m choosing now.

Chad:               Well, that is. That is it. If we could end the episode right now, you go and just do that. That exercise that, that Chris has taught us and you’re, you’re, you’re set. I mean, it, it, it’s really interesting because we, a lot of people I’ve talked to it does, we, we aren’t aware of our negative self talk or our self talk in general just initially, but what you’re saying is, is that you gotta first, you know, have something you want, pick a goal because if we have him pick a goal you have, you don’t know how to achieve. If it’s something like, okay, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, you know, I’m going to shower this morning, but you already know you’re going to shower and you do it every day. Then it’s not going to squeeze out that negative, but you pick something that you want that you don’t know how to achieve yet.

Chad:               And it just starts to squeeze out that negative out of your head. And, and all of a sudden you’re like, Whoa, uh, all the, all this, all this talk in there I didn’t know is in there. And what you just taught us about that exercise is perfect because what you’re saying is if we just, it’s in that moment that we can catch the self talk and write it down and then reverse it to something we want and then choose a positive that’s opposite to that. And that’s, that’s, that’s really, really, really, really helpful. And I think that, you know, talking about connection and communication, we have to, we have to communicate at the level of our goal once we’re finally communicating at the level of our goal, we’ll get it. And that includes communication with ourself and communication with other people because as we finally ramp up our communication on the inside to the level of our goal and then we’re also communicating with other people at that level. We’re communicated with mentors and teachers that are going to teach us how to do a work relationship where we’re connecting two different relationships that, that bring us closer to it. That inner and communication will, will take us straight there, you know, with that consistent effort over time. And then we’ll get it. So you just, that’s how you, that what you just said, that’s how you talk your way into achieving the goal.

Chris:               That’s right. It’s right. Exactly man. And, and I think what you said about the communication on the inside as well as the communication on the outside is so critical because if you say, man, I don’t, I don’t really know if I can achieve this goal. I wish I wish I could do something about that. Uh, it’s probably too difficult to probably too hard probably to. I’m not there yet. I’m not enough yet. I don’t have enough experience, blah, blah, blah, blah. That’s all that self talk in. That literally shows up in your conversations. So if you show up like that to a mentor, chances are, you know, depending on, on how far along your journey you are like it’s going to be difficult to persuade that mentor to want to work with you.

Chad:               I love what you said, how like that inner communication that will come out in our conversations because it absolutely does. It comes out in your body language. It comes out in your tone of voice. It comes out. And even the word choices, you’re communicating with somebody and so we’d be learning all these, you know, we can go to a workshop and learn different strategies for how to negotiate, how to build rapport with somebody, what questions to ask and, and you know, I call that the, the outer voice kind of stuff, which is good and it’s good to learn that as well because you can draw upon that toolbox of strategies and communication things, um, how to talk, how to listen. But if you don’t have that inner communication and alignment, then it doesn’t matter what, what you know about, like what strategies to use. It’s still gonna come out. The truth of how you’re talking on the inside is still gonna come out as you’re communicating with people and people can have a hard time trusting you because you’re not sure of yourself. You’re not sure of where you’re going. And it has such a huge effect that is so often overlooked that we think, oh, as long as I say this or do this, then it doesn’t matter that when I go home, I’m thinking this.

Chris:               No, it’s like they, they often say the professional athletes, their success on the court is due to how they practice behind closed doors when nobody’s watching, right? The game is easy. The practice hard. That’s hard. That takes discipline. That takes work. Same thing with showing up in life and achieving the results. When someone is achieving the success that they’ve, they’ve always dreamed of, they are succeeding there. They find the man or woman of their dreams, they’re, they’re winning and they are building their business. They’re getting all these accolades. That’s just the world catching up with what they have been doing and practicing behind closed doors, getting themselves prepared for that moment, for that opportunity. And it really takes so, so, so much time and energy and efforts. But if you’re willing to do what most people won’t, you can have what most people don’t.

Chad:               That and, and what I imagine is that, you know, we sometimes we think that we can, uh, then we have a challenge that we’re going through or we’re not achieving a certain goal or whatever. And we think that we can just kinda move on and compartmentalize and a lot of people are walking around thinking that they’ve moved on from something or thinking that they’re there because they haven’t gone through that process of just talking to themselves, getting that talk out of their head onto paper, switching it around and, and with that discipline, you know, changing it. And that’s, that’s really what it takes. It takes that, that discipline every single day, what, how, how can we be consistent because it’s one thing to like, you know, it’s easy to say, you know, be consistent and do it everyday. But a lot of people they struggle to be consistent day in and day out, especially when they don’t see immediate results. I mean that is, that is like the whole, my whole story this last year and a half is I’ve been building a business is how is trying to be consistent and things and I’m not seeing immediate results. Trying to keep that long term perspective in mind. So what, what are some secrets that you have for like how to be consistent in those things?

Chris:               That’s a great question. So for me, I love that I do this 12 hour marathon just about every Wednesday because that, that’s public accountability. So anytime you’re willing to step up your level of commitment, declare something publicly, say, say to your, your family, your friends, your social media, whatever that you’re going to be, you can count on me to do this. Uh, that’s, that’s one of the best forms of accountability that I’ve found. And then the second thing is with a lot of our clients at burning up coaching, they need that support. They need the extra help with accountability. They need that someone to, to reign them back in when they’ve gone off course. They need to know that someone has their back when they fall short, when they self sabotage, when they do what they, they know they’re not supposed to do and procrastinate and hide out and avoid.

Chris:               That’s what, uh, the objective and the job of a coach is to do is to make sure that the player or the client or the person is performing at their highest level. So like, think about it, if you’re really committed to your results, I highly recommend hiring a coach, finding a mentor, whatever it might be, that person who you can count on that will keep your goals in front of you, and we’ll keep reminding you about what you said you were going to do. We’ll check in with you on a weekly or daily basis to make sure that you’re following through. Now, there’s also the aspect of accountability partner. If you’re not ready to hire a coach yet or asked for that mentor yet, but you have people around you who have similar goals, then you can find people who are accountable. The challenge with accountability partners is most accountability partners, lack discipline, so two people lacking discipline and leadership coming together.

Chris:               It doesn’t really create that much goodness might have a shot. It’s possible, but most often they’re not able to leverage that. The each other to create the discipline to create the the synchronicity. Someone will fall short, someone back each other up, and then it’ll just be this downward spiral. So I recommend having someone who you can rely on who’s going to be there time and time again, who’s a professional, who has done it before many, many times to help you stay accountable, to hold you to that discipline. So that’s number one. But the second thing is, or another thing that I can recommend is to do things that are difficult. Do things like jump in a cold shower every once in awhile or do a fast day. Go a day without eating. Do you eat, eat only Greens for an entire day. Do things that get you outside of your comfort zone.

Chris:               Talk to someone who you wouldn’t normally talk to, walk up and start a conversation at a coffee shop or in the line at the grocery store, whatever it might be. Do something that’s out of your comfort zone. So as you continue to do these challenging activities, you start to change your identity. Who am I well before you were someone who would just stand in line and look at your phone or you would only take hot showers because that’s what’s comfortable. Or You would do what is easy and as you start to take the actions of developing a discipline of not honoring your thoughts and your feelings, but rather honoring your commitment. And when you honor your commitment, you start shifting your identity and you start developing the discipline and you start creating new results because you’re taking new actions.

Chad:               Wow. Well that’s about as valuable and as simple as it gets with how to create, how to create consistency. Thank you so much. That’s a. If I were to kind of give out to just put that in in one sentence, the first thing you said is have someone to report to. You know, it’s like, I think sometimes we’re so afraid to a. We get it kind of in her head of like, Oh, if I have to get a coach or a mentor, if I have to have somebody to report to me means that I’m not good enough to do it on my own. I’ve told myself that story before and it is, it is so damaging because guess what? You’re not good enough to do it on I guess, but you are. So. You were, you were, you were amazing and, and you have to realize that with other people and with their help, you will become your greatest self as you talk about and, and you can be proud of that because here’s something I’ve run into before is with, um, with, with certain clients is that they, they’re afraid to have somebody to be accountable to and to report to like a coach or a mentor because they feel that they can’t claim the success of what they accomplish because, oh, it was, it was all my coach.

Chad:               He was the one that actually did it for me. Well, no, he didn’t. He and so you get to claim the success of every single thing you accomplish. Even if you had a coach and a mentor along the whole way, even if he kept giving you advice of what to do next and helps you discover what your next step was. It at the end of the day, it’s not him that’s accomplishing it. It’s, it’s you, you’re the one that’s actually doing it. You’re the one that’s actually accomplishing and becoming a better version of yourself. You get to claim that success even if you had someone to report to the entire way. That’s, that’s right. Nobody’s,

Chris:               nobody’s going to do it for you. Even if even if you have a coach, even if you have a done for you service where someone you know does your entire resume or builds your entire business or your sales funnel sales process, whatever it might be, even if it’s done for you, you still have to operate it. You still have to be at the level in the mindset of ownership that you can handle it, that you can deal with it, that you can keep the momentum going forward because if you aren’t ready to do that, if you say like, I’m not ready or don’t believe that you’re worthy than yourself. Sabotage and find a way to grind whatever progress you got to a screeching halt.

Chad:               Definitely, and I’m going to kind of illustrate what you were just talking about and circle back to communication so we can kind of see the connections here that so you have a coach, you have a mentor, you. So we talked about that from the beginning, right? Ask and receive, uh, and, and go and just ask somebody to be your mentor. So now you’re in this mentorship relationship and it’s interesting that you brought that up again when we’re talking about consistency and accountability because it’s so crucial there. So now you’re communicating and you’re in these conversations with your mentor and, and through these conversations, you’re able to gain consistency and accountability which is helping you to then act and through those actions and you’re creating better results and those results are not communicating back to you evidence that all of this is working. So let’s, let’s keep doing it.

Chad:               Let’s pick a new goal now and keep growing. And something you said in your second point, I’m about just jump in a cold shower, get out of your comfort zone. Um, I, it’s, it’s, I’ve, I’ve found that with me. Then when I. What did you write that? When I started doing that? Um, and I never even connected that to like identity before. But it’s really interesting that when I started getting out of my comfort zone, I, I, I discovered more of who I was because I was somebody who could grow. That’s who I was. I was somebody who could keep growing. I was somebody who could, who, who was on a trajectory of progress and becoming better and better versions of myself. And that kind of confidence gives you that momentum to be consistent. It gives you that momentum to just keep going and keep seeking new relationships.

Chad:               And, and it was, and it was, it was the turning point for me when I started to experience that, um, and so it was really cool. And, and, and, and then it coming kind of playing off of what you said about a reporting. I’m kind of Ping Pong and a little bit, um, like for me, what has really helped me when it comes to down to reporting is, so reporting to a person I’ve found definitely gives you the most accountability because you just feel more accountable when reporting to a person. But when I have certain gaps where I’m like in between having a person to report to and so forth, like I use my technology, my phone to, to report my. Okay, did I do the action step for today that I knew was going to help me get closer to my goal. Okay. Swipe or check off like we have this technology we can use to her to report to that will also help us be consistent and accountable.

Chad:               And we got to use it. We have our, we have our phones with us all the time in today’s world. And so you can use this device that’s in your pocket all day long to, to ping reminders to you to do these things that you are consistent and we need to be using it for that. Good to fill in the gaps. But if you have, if you’re using your devices and your technology to hold you accountable, so you’re communicating with your device and you have a mentor and a coach who’s holding accountable. And if on top of that, like you said, you’re publicly announcing your goals, um, you’re, you are like, there’s no way you’re not going to achieve what you’re wanting to achieve. Your, your, like this trifecta of accountability and, and the. Nothing’s gonna hold you back from that.

Chris:               Yeah, definitely. The daily, the daily check in is critical. You mentioned having a phone, you know, if you have a list, if you have notes on your phone, whatever it might be, do you have a calendar system, Google calendar or you know, use the technology that you have. And also chat if it’s alright with you. I have a checklist, a weekly checklist of the habits of the things that are most important to you. So if you want to track your, the number of Gym Times you go to the gym, going to track the number of sales calls you make, you want to track the number of pounds that you released back to the universe. If you want to track the number of people or women or men you asked out on a date, you know, what are those actions are going to move you towards your goal. I’m like journaling, meditating, whatever it is. You can track that on this weekly tracker and there’s a spot where you can review it and review your actions, so I’d be happy to give that to anyone who’s listening for free. Of course.

Chad:               Okay, I’ll do that. Definitely check the show notes for that links. You can get that resource. Thanks for giving that to us. As we kind of near the end of our conversation, I want you to talk about something that you mentioned, which is how to break through our bs and into our gps. Do you want to explain a little bit about what you mean by that and how we can become our greatest possible self?

Chris:               Yeah, absolutely. So you know, really the, the BS is the mental chatter, the stuff that we’ve been talking about, about the challenges that the disbelief, the the crap that is stopping you from being your greatest possible selves. So how do you break through that stuff? So really it takes a decision. It takes a vision, a purpose, something bigger than you to be able to break through this bs into your greatest possible selves. So first off, we need to design that greatest possible self, the vision, the destination, the ultimate life. Have you ever written down what is your perfect day? If you could have any day and have it go anyway you want any 24 hours you get to design your perfect day. How from how you wake up to how you go to bed, whether it’s with the man or woman of your dreams, whether it’s traveling the world, whether it’s making money while you sleep, whether it is, you know, uh, speaking, whether it’s building something, whether it’s working at a business, whether it’s whatever that is for.

Chris:               Write down your perfect day from start to finish. What’s it like? What are the experiences that you have? What are you here? What do you see? What do you taste, what you smell? What are the sensations and the feelings? So design that perfect day. That’s a really great way to get tapped into what you want, because a lot of people were walking around and saying, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know. I don’t know what my dream is. I don’t know what my purpose is, my vision, my mission, so that’s a great place to start and set it out for a year, five years, 10 years, whatever is inspiring for you. You know, give yourself whatever date. You couldn’t write multiple of these perfect days for whatever amount of timeframe you feel called to. So after you do that, then you will break down that goal into the steps.

Chris:               So let’s say you do five years out, okay, what would I have to accomplish in three years to be on track for that five year goal? What would I have to accomplish in one year to be on track for that three year goal? What would I have to accomplish in the next six months, in the next three months, in the next month and the next week? So literally start writing down these dates, these timeframes, and start practicing. Now, the first time around you do this, you’re probably not going to have a really great outline or clarity or anything like that, but the more you do this, the more you focus and you project you spend time, whether it’s once a week or once a month, once a year, it doesn’t matter, but spend time, put it in your calendar, put it in your system of growth, how you grow yourself and become your greatest possible.

Chris:               So put it in that you reflect on what’s been working, what hasn’t been working, and then project out what is the process, five years, three years, one year, six months, three months, one month, one week. What? What, what do you have to get done in the next week to make sure that you’re on track for that goal? So we like to say bss, belief systems, you know, what are the outdated belief systems to bs. It’s also, you know, the bss, the normal bowl word, um, and so the BS is stuff that comes up that doesn’t align with your greatest possible self, that doesn’t take you to where you want to go. That’s BS. That’s might be friends, might be family, might be circumstances, it might be finances, it might be current things that you’re dealing with that’s all bs and you can use it all as justifications and reasons why you don’t have what you want or you’re not there yet, but it’s really breaking through that and being bigger than your circumstances saying, I will find a solution no matter what it takes to get to my dream, to get to my goal, and it’s like literally repeating that like a broken record saying, I’m getting that.

Chris:               I’m doing it. I’m making it happen. When will matter what it takes. When you step into that person, into that identity, that that self image of yourself, anything becomes possible.

Chad:               Well, there you have it. There you have it. That is your. You’re having a conversation with yourself about what your perfect day is. You’re having a conversation with yourself about what you want to happen in five years and through that conversation you end up rewiring your brain that literally affects your. It affects

Chris:               your actions and eventually affects your results. If you were to leave us with just one statement of what we can do to just burn it up in our life, what would that be? It’s kind of esoteric, but it’s what I live by these days and it’s this moment, this moment is everything. Now, what does that mean? What does this moment is everything mean? It means that the future is not real. It hasn’t happened yet. It’s just a projection. It’s a thought. The past is gone. Bye Bye. All we have is now, now, now, now, now, now and now again. So this moment right now is everything. So anyone who has been putting off til tomorrow til someday what they want to do or, or the, the process, the thing that they want to become, the whatever that is, whoever that is, whatever achievements. This moment is everything.

Chris:               So what action are you taking right now to actually get closer to that? Perfect. Where can our viewers and listeners connect with you and learn more from you? Yeah, so feel free to send me an email, Chris, at beyourgps.com. We’d love to hear from you, especially if you let me know you heard from me, from Chad, show Chris at beyourgps.com Uh, you can find me on facebook, facebook.com, forward slash th3burns. Would love to connect with you there. Let me know what you’re working on, what you’re creating. Also, the podcast would love to have you come join us on the twelve hour marathon. We do that on our facebook profile, the facebook.com, forward slash t h three burns or search for becoming your greatest possible self on, on Youtube, on facebook, or on itunes. It’s also on itunes for the podcast would love to have you start listening and let us know your feedback.

Chris:               Leave a review. Let us know your comments, what you want to hear, what’s new, what’s exciting, and keep me posted on, on what your dreams are. Who is your greatest possible self? What is that perfect day for you? Make a video about it. Write a letter about it. Send it to people. Let people know that this is who you’re committed to. Trust that your dreams are worth it. Well, Chris, you gave us such valuable epic direction today and how we can advance forward in our career and in our life, and I know that anyone who has been able to listen and watch this episode, I hope you took notes. I hope that you now know what you need to do to get a grip on that inner dialogue, to go find a mentor and get out there and do what you’re meant to do. Thanks so much for being on our show today, Chris. That’s right. Chad. Keep doing the work you’re doing. I acknowledge you for being the light for these people who felt like they don’t know how to connect. They don’t know how to achieve their goals. They don’t know what’s going on live or that they just know there’s they’re meant for something more. Man, I, I appreciate you. I acknowledge you. I see you.

Chris:               Keep up the work. Keep taking those steps forward, man. Thanks so much.

Chad:               Wow. I. Chris just connected us to some key pieces of wisdom that will help you connect your way up to a better version of yourself. Connect your way up to the greatest possible version of yourself. Connect your way up to mentors, connect your way up to the next level of your career. I guarantee you, if you apply what he taught you today, you will connect your way to where you want to be in your career and in your life. So thanks for joining the conversation today in this episode of Connect Up. Hope to see you next time.